Blame

I want to say My life and early experiences have shaped me into who I am..I do not blame my parents or others. I can say I wish people had stepped in and intervened more. I had some adults in my life intervene. My Grandparents on my Moms side took me from my parents for 3 or 4 months when I was in 7th or 8th grade. They did not give me back tell there where some hard rules for both my parents and I. My parents where really trying to do the best they could. Looking back there could have been some depression and Anger management issues going on. It was hard on me since I was a kid and cant get them help unless I tell whats going on which was scarey to a little kid wanting to protect her brothers. I do have wounds from these events but they have made me strong and the caring person I am today. Sometimes I wish things could have been different but I do not Hate my parents actually I love them very much. I am hurt by the things my Dad still does and says. But I have learned there are boundaries I need to hold so he cant just keep hurting me like he was..On the other hand I truly don't believe he knows or can see the pain he causes me. I do believe one day he will have the wake up call where he sees what he has done and I hope he doesn't hurt the way I have. I only wish love for him. My Mom a couple weeks before she died apologized for all the hitting and mean words.. This was a moment I will never forget because I could see she had realized the Pain she had caused. I told her it was ok and I knew she tried her Best, and I Loved her! I have been able to forgive her easier than my Dad..I do believe the apology helped. I don't want this Blog to be about blame. There are many choices I could have made and lots could have made for better outcomes..I want this to be a place to get out the stories and a Place of Healing.