Hope

I have found Faith Love and Hope have helped me so much in the last 2 years. after my surgery for the first 2 tumors on my ovaries. I woke up confused about what all these things the Dr's where telling me. Then finding Melanoma. I had to find My Faith in my God , Remember I have Love from my family and Friends and Hope for my future. I want more than anything to see my Grand kids and get to hold them and love them. I have found being Grateful for what I have in life is so important to my mental health..Even if I would give anything just for my Health I rank that as my NUMBER ! in life if you don't have your Health life gets hard. I write weekly things I am grateful for. At one time this was hard for me. Now I can right a huge list. I am grateful for my tree in the front yard some days when I was very ill, I would go sit out front and listen to the birds chirp. I am grateful for Rainbows there so pretty and full of wonder. I am grateful for the many bright blue skys we have in California... I could go on and on I am especially Grateful for my husband who is kind and patient and has stood by me through many surgeries and is kind to our kids. I have found just taking time for myself has been key to my recovery sometimes I go get my nails painted or take a walk when I feel stressed, I have 2 personal training sessions a week that make me feel strong and help me see I am moving forward. I can see changes like going from a 6 second plank to 1 min plank. This certain arm machine I could not add weight too. I have worked hard at this machine a year later I am at 10lbs on each arm, It has been a slow progress with this machine but I refuse to give up I was going to get 5 lbs know I am up to 10 lbs. Just seeing the progress makes me feel good like I am fighting back. I find when stress is getting the best of me I stop and take a walk, for some reason I think better when walking the stress leaves and I can finally figure out a solution. None of these things mentioned above came easy to me actually I hated exercise now I love it. My attitude of gratitude was not easy at first either..I was mad at my life and all the pain I have had to endure. Kidney stones hurt and passing thousands of them SUCKS. its hard to find JOY when your in pain, but I also knew how my life was going was not working for me so I had to change even though it was hard and scary.