Here Goes: A Story of Depression

First off I like Math more than English so if punctuation, grammar, miss spelling bug you I am sorry This is a place for me to write about my life..Please don't judge if you have a problem with these things this might not be a blog you want to read.  I am starting this blog as a space for me to write my story, my life, my thoughts about this journey. Two years ago I wanted to start this blog, but was afraid of the Judgement that comes with Depression..Lots of people have there opinions this is MINE and my Journey to find Happiness. It's been a Tough road for me. Lots of scary battles with illnesses, a ROUGH Childhood, a very Ill Mom. This is my Journey, My life. I have so much to say so I will start out with Two years ago at my very lowest point in life. I had been battling a long hard Journey with Kidney stones 16 surgeries for stones.. passing 36 stones a year that where large enough to cause pain..Meaning I am sure there where ones I did not catch. I then got very ill and soon found out I was needing a Hysterectomy due to large aggressive Malignant tumors. I was very scared and wasn't sure if I would get to see my kids grow up. When I woke up they had left a partial ovary and I had Borderline tumors. This was not what I had expected..What the heck is Borderline all I know is Cancerous or Not. I have the kind that can turn to cancer cause they have the start of cancerous cells?? Who knew there was such a thing.?? Well 4 weeks into recovery I was diagnosed with Melanoma on my left arm. This was another hard hit for me. I wondered where I had gone wrong? What did I do to deserve this luck? This begins my descent into full blown depression. I decided this life was just to painful, It was not worth the pain and I was not willing or ready to move on. I became consumed with the thought of ending my life. My husband called my Dr. and they decided a Mental hospital was in order. I went willingly because at this point I had nothing to lose. I made my husband promise he would not tell people, it was just to embarrassing. It was all at once the WORST/BEST decision I have ever made. 10 days in the hospital the Psychiatrist opinion : I don't need medicine I need to Talk...Yeah Right ..That's what I need just to talk?? This guy is as crazy as this Hospital and I just want out!! Turns out he was right. My favorite saying that reminds me of this time in my life is. Depression is not a sign of Weakness its a sign of being Strong for to long